Celebrating Capacity

Celebrating Capacity

Last week was the summer solstice, and with the lengthening of sunlight with each passing month, I have felt a lengthening in my capacity. I mean that in a very literal work-sense: I have more capacity for projects, more time in my calendar. But also feel myself growing in capacity for those less tangible things, too.

I have more capacity creatively. My kids are now ten and six... old enough to sleep in a tiny bit, dress themselves, entertain themselves for longer bits of time... and with that comes freedom in my day and in my brain to be still, to dream, to hear my own voice.

My body feels more relaxed, and after months — probably years — of feeling in fight or flight mode, something has shifted for me. I feel softer, calmer, and yet stronger. When tough things come up, I don't fear a physical and emotional collapse.

I've been considering what has helped me make this shift that has felt out of reach for most of my work life. In some ways, it's the small things:

  • Building a work team that I trust completely
  • Implementing new systems with retainer clients to streamline communications, easily track hours, and organize incoming work
  • Getting more comfy turning away projects that aren't a great fit
  • Prioritizing tennis! It's fun, it's healthy, and I love it enough to stop working to go do it! :)

But, in some ways... it's the big things, too. My eldest daughter turned 10 in May, and it really made me think about just how fast a decade can go. In another decade, my kids will be nearing adulthood. Nobody will need me to do bedtime snuggles. I'll be almost 50 years old. I have precious little time here. We all do. This all just feels more real than it used to.

My favorite poem of all time explains this so much more simply than I ever could:

The Orange by Wendy Cope

At lunchtime I bought a huge orange— The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I’m glad I exist.

Newly Launched

Thanks for being here,